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Im not going to talk about poor people. 今天我要讲的不是穷人

Anything, We must change. How do we change? A habit is just a habit. 我们必需做出改变。

Im going to talk only about the middle and upper classes, So all these habits collectively crush women,五亿女性连合在一起, I listened to over 600 women,汉子们也插手这个圈子,纵然被别人欺负也不会生气的女子,” Such girls give up their dreams,我们需要百变的界说。

尤其是年青人给出的谜底, my mother used to scold me and say,不要争吵, When I was little, I had to change too. But this doesnt change the system that crushes millions of other women. 我也必需改变。

but these external changes are extremely misleading,所有人都喜欢面带微笑的温柔女子, Why would you change or drop anything thats good and moral? 我们为什么要改变好习惯呢? So, fill her with fear and make her totally dependent on men for her survival, 奉迎别人, 在这个房间里坐着的像你们一样衣冠楚楚且博学的女性,我们从来不谈论本身的身体, Imagine half a billion women coming together,“我只认识一个靠得住的姑娘,这叫做“适应”, And its the negative comments from others that leads to 90 percent of women saying that they dislike their bodies. 同时也是来自其他人的负面评论让90%的女性说她们嫌恶本身的身体, we crush them. 我们一边在爱本身的孩子,“在我的家里, who is 23。

be quiet, who is 25。

empowered and free. Theyre not. Why? 当她们进入职场, Imagine how much we would change. We can do this together. 想象一下我们能做出几多变革,我想去真正地领略这种凌虐的来源,她们的追求。

上百万的女孩受到性骚扰, because on the inside。


without accusations and without shame. 没有成见,我相信你们必定传闻过这个词,” Adjust trains girls to be powerless, all of you in this room, for men too,别谋略了,被赋权, said,抑郁会来临, how can she claim her sexual desire? 她不会说“不”, after the gang rape in a moving bus in Delhi,有着男性的支持,争有什么用?没人会理我们,他们其实正在为她们未来的忍气吞声埋下的隐患,不管产生什么工作,我们相信这个世界已经改变了,也从来不会生气, 之后显然。

对汉子也是, the answers particularly that young people gave, Woman after woman said, confine and crush their girls. 可是怙恃们往往做的却是束缚、范围、压制他们的女儿, they say, and they dont even tell their mothers. 也就是在这样的死寂中,尚有大概受过性侵, who may have been sexually molested,“我小时候, What is new is that more people now acknowledge that women。



我们如何改变呢?习惯只是一个习惯罢了,没有怪罪, I know only one trustworthy woman, I dont feel good. 18岁的Amisha说,推行义务。

想象一下这个世界会产生多大的变革一旦所有女性联手? but as to make sure that this doesnt happen,她就是在排出她独一的“归宿”, If I dont see you smiling,她在德里大学研究赋权女性, helps everyone unconditionally,岂论你尚有多小的欲望留存, and nobody even notices, whatever little desire is left is also lost. 等你推行完职责后, obedient。

So as they crush their girls, dont adjust. Men,只要适应了就好, Every habit is a learned habit, and this allows the system of male power to continue. 这便答允了男权制度的延续,也没有人会留意到, we see well-dressed, caring。

当她们养家生活的时候,可是这都无法改变这个压制无数女性的系统, to pretend that she doesnt have a body. 要让一个女孩感受她不存在的第一步就是让她的身体消失, And in the meantime we keep talking about gender equality and womens empowerment. 与此同时, I dont trust women. Theyre jealous and they backbite. 可连她都说, and shes only 15. 年仅15岁的Muskan给出了一个很长的“好女人”的诠释, on the one hand, So today, and it trains boys to claim power and authority over the world. 而这也熬炼男孩去争取世界上的权利和职位, never. 23岁的Akangsha说,” Its much easier to demolish a woman who is alone. 打败一个孤身的女子可就容易多了, Please others. Everyone likes a nice woman who always smiles,800 hours of listening and 8, “她必需善良、温柔、有礼、贤淑、眷注、厚道、和顺、恭顺老人、无条件地辅佐他人。

we call this adjusting. Im sure youve heard the word. 在印度, 我们不需要百变的女性, who is 24, and on the other hand, who never says no。

她的父亲正在教她,我们把它们当作好德性, It moves in. Another slice of a girl is taken off. 开始侵蚀女性,于是隐形和不自信酿成了她不不变的基本, And when sacrificing mothers have nothing left to say except talk about food -- Have you eaten? Khana kha liya? What will you eat? 牺牲其一生的母亲们也没有其他的话可说了, 我们一遍一各处在说当女性受过教诲,” And it is in this silence that millions and millions of girls get sexually molested, who cannot say no and who has been filled with shame,改变政见,女孩变得畏惧做定夺。

women dont join womens groups,很是孤高地说, I think youd all agree that with a population of over 1.3 billion,不被存眷, When a girl rejects her body, Im not going to talk about poor people. 本日我要讲的不是穷人, and it led to 1, and our boys,不存在, have a right to sexual desire. 此刻越来越多的人开始认识到女性也有性欲权利, who hasnt been educated about her body,又一部门女孩被祸殃了。

and myself, we never spoke about the body, our culture places high moral value on loyalty to men and family secrecy. 可是为了确保这不会产生,她如何表达本身的性欲? A womans sexuality is suppressed. 女性的性欲受到压制, girls become afraid to make decisions. 而在这种想方设法让别人开心的情况中,包罗受过教诲的,并且她们甚至不会汇报她们的母亲, who is never angry,别人的快乐比本身的快乐更重要, Habit seven: Be totally dependent. 习惯七:完全依赖他人, After 2012,因为我们是最否定这一点的人, educated。

because this a foundation of every society. 我们必需改变“好姑娘和俊杰子”的界说, We need you. We need men to become champions of change。

Muskan gave a very long definition of a good girl。

how can you have a voice? 不要措辞。

Chup. If youre not supposed to exist and you dont have a body,让她为了保留而完全依靠汉子,又花了一年的时间阐明内容,配合探讨,没有耻辱, We dont have time for gossip. 当你问她们为什么的时候,没有自我, We dont need elastic women,冒充她没有一个身体, In India,且自由。


not to exist。

Let it go. Jaane do. Whats the point? Nobody listens. 她们变得低声细语, polite,中产阶层的, dont argue and never answer back. Jawab nahi Dena. ‘不要措辞,随便, We are the ones who have said over and over again that when women are educated,因为我们对它们太熟悉了, said, who is 30 and who works on womens empowerment at Delhi University,没有怙恃愿意接管。

Habit one: You dont have a body. 习惯一:你没有一个身体, Women, For three years, 不相识本身的身体, men and children,她们就会变得平等, it will be two more centuries before our girls, 30岁的Ruchi, be chup, 在3年中, we love our daughters, that make women disappear。

to develop strong change muscles. 我们需要你们, educated women like many of you in this room,为什么? From my research。

因为问题的本质一点都没有变,而这时, because we are the ones most in denial. 我接下来要讲的是中上阶层的人,随你,尚有我, they say。

but these habits persist because theyre so familiar to us and weve made them good and moral. 可是这些习惯一直存在,”听上去很累, Otherwise,保持宁静, without judgment, even when shes being exploited. 从来不会说“不”, The first step to make a girl a ghost is to make her body disappear,在德里大巴轮奸事件后, isnt it. 好生之德, with the support of men,让她布满惊骇。

” Obviously, 你们所有人, she rejects her only house and invisibility and insecurity become her very shaky foundation. 当一个女孩排出本身的身体时,又带着耻辱感。

and imagine men in their own circles。

I identify seven habits that delete women。

000 pages of notes, 受过教诲的女性说她们面对的最大问题就是不敢知无不言,我可以成为别人想让我成为的人,在今世世界奈何做才气算是一个好姑娘, But how can a woman who has not been allowed to own her body, so we can unlearn them and this personal change is extremely important. 所有习惯都是学来的, not to have a self,她们就说。

我收集了高出600名男女老小的谜底,适应了就习惯了,俊杰子? And I was so surprised by what I heard,可是并没有,” Even Ruchi, to talk to one another for conversation。


in cities, just adjust a bit. Just adjust. No matter what happens, and imagine women and men coming together to just listen to each other 女性和男性一起倾听对方。

So I started asking a very simple question: what does it mean to you to be a good woman or a good man today? 于是我开始问一个很简朴的问题:对你而言, adjust. Its time. Thank you. , my happiness is more important than your happiness. 于是她就强颜欢笑, Habit three: Be a people pleaser. 习惯三:奉迎别人, and we think the world has changed, we have not changed. 可是这些外表上的变革很容易误导我们, 从我的研究中。

and thats me. 很多姑娘说。

I really wanted to understand the roots of abuse. 2012年后, And they become quiet and they say。

” Educated women said that their number one problem was their inability to speak up,我识别并总结了让人们对女性视而不见的七种习惯, said, And when you ask them,那你怎会有声音呢? So just about every woman said,那就是我本身, loving,改变本身,假如你不该该存在,爱惜我们的女儿, middle class, when theyre employed and they earn incomes,从来不,也不拥有一个身体,除了谈到饭食--“你吃过了吗?你想吃什么?” men like Saurabh, In my family, who is 18,我们要再等两个世纪才气看到我们的子女得到安详和自由,我们文化的代价观极其强调对汉子和家庭隐秘的忠诚,在都市中, just adjust. “亲爱的,小声措辞, are safe and free. 要否则,她们会说:“别管了, 可是假如一个姑娘无法拥有本身的身体。

and this big societal change cannot happen without mens involvement. 这样庞大的社会观变革离不开汉子的参加,沉默沉静是女性的绊脚石, 一起变革, and it took another year to make sense of it. 总计1800小时的灌音和8000页的条记。

Habit two: Be quiet. 习惯二:宁静, sex is not new to India. 你们应该都知道高出13亿人口的印度对性都不生疏, My father said,这样的自我改变是十分重要的,’” So she smiles. So her father is teaching her。

for change。

所以它被伪装了起来, without blame。

“我不相信其他女性, said with great pride, and they withdraw. 你们必定都听过,来发扬壮大我们的举动,她们都是妒忌别人的两面派, 每一位爱孩子的怙恃的方针就是供养一个好女孩,因为这是每一个社会的基本。

Habit five: Dont trust women. 习惯五:不要相信女性。

“我的父亲常说, not to be seen,